i remember so vividly this time last year. and it hurts; it hurts more because i feel like i'm going through it alone. it's like torture- literally, actually, not "like."
none of the people (person) who got me through it are in my life anymore.
no wonder my anxiety/paranoia levels are heightened right now. especially with the living situation i'm in right now i have to force a smile so that everyone knows i'm "okay." they don't even have a clue that anything was going on last summer.
so i can't blame them for getting mad at me for not "being productive" lately. of course they think it's laziness, or just me being a total fuck-up as per usual.
i'm scared to sleep. i'm scared to be alone, but i'm scared to be around people who i can't identify as safe (my iPod has been like a protective shield when i'm in public).
yea, i'd love to feel safe. i don't think i know[remember] how to achieve that though
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