i need a place to live. this is so not good. i was outside enjoying the sun and when he came home i went upstairs right away. i feel obligated to stay out of sight (and safer...from everyone) and when i have to go downstairs to get, i don't know, water or something i get so anxious. but where am i going to find someplace cheap enough to rent?! this morning i was wondering how much it would cost to put some of my stuff in storage and live in one of those weekly "motels."
had to go to the post office to pick up 2 certified letters. one was papers saying i am being sued. from a car accident TWO YEARS ago. the lawyer representing me says that it's only happening b/c the statute of limitations in AZ expires in 2yrs. so they want to see if they can get anything else for "pain and suffering." excuse me, i was the one airlifted to the nearest major trauma center because i was paralyzed from the neck down...and when i regained consciousness and movement no one told me what happened, so i didn't find this out until Feb. of this year. thought i was just in a bad accident. anyway, i guess they wouldn't being suing me, it would be via my auto insurance, right? well, i have no assets anyhow. i don't own anything. they can have a lot of hello kitty stuff if they want. the other letter was from the CEO of the medical group i was in, saying that they were kicking me out. his reasons were things that did not even happen- i already filed a complaint with the hospital that these alleged things happened. and then he talks about how he looked at my history...um, i've only been going to that group since november 2006. and they don't have any of my records from before that because walk-in clinics don't do record keeping. just made me angry. plus, i'm just counting down the days until i get the notice that i don't have insurance anymore because i don't get enough hours at work.
AND WORK! i almost quit yesterday. i was wandering up and down the aisles wondering what impact it would have on getting a future job if i just told them i quit and was going home. guests are rude, one LOD already doesn't like me (b/c i went home monday night when i was having an asthma attack and breaking out in hives from working in the chemicals department). whatever. and haha, they had me in domestics for a little while. i told them it was at their own risks. my boss at my other store told me my towel folding skills were "special ed, at best." Yea, not really my department. and a guest got all bitchy at me, so i shot an attitude right back at her. i was hoping she'd complain about me...but then again i wasn't even wearing my name tag...mine melted in the dryer so i put on one i had that says "Hernando." I got to push carts because there was no cart attendant. that makes me happy. and buff! eww, on the way home (at like 11PM) the 78 freeway was shut down to ONE lane from CSU San Marcos until the end of it...which is like 8 miles. SO MUCH traffic. so i got off at what i thought was a main road and it turned out to not be, but i still made it home...the scenic route, right?
it was just a long day yesterday. dr. appointment in the morning, which was VERY draining, but i talked to elsie about that so at least i was able to release all those emotions. and the pharmacy called me today because they had MORE Rxs for me...I cannot believe how much i spend on medication. and my therapist wonders why i don't have enough money for basically anything.
i did get to do some art today and some organizing. i am supposed to make my room "anti-asthma" with these encasing for my bed (to keep out dust mites, etc) and some carpet treatment, but i haven't had motivation to take on that big of a task. and i didn't go to the gym today :( i just feel so self-conscious that i can't be seen at the gym. tomorrow is a good day to go...around the middle of the day because it's rarely crowded. or sunday morning. i did 4-ish hours of yoga...and then just daily living stuff. not enough, ugh.
SUNDAY EVENING IS THE CONCERT!
oh so much to say (maybe i'm isolating and need real people to talk to...like SPEAK to...i don't really have friends around here.) although Jennie is going to the concert with me sunday and i haven't seen her since january! she lives in san diego...far.
but! highlights of the day: my toes are now neon pink with little hello kitty faces on the big ones (even sat still long enough for them to dry), finished and sent a card i've been working on, found ORGANIC grapes grown in the USA and LOCALLY for a non-expensive price. because frozen grapes are sweeeeet. made sun tea with green tea and black mango tea. and organized my scrapbooking stuff (that IS fun for me).
tomorrow's challenge is that i have to have breakfast/brunch (it's at 10am) with my parents...BOTH of them. least they're driving to Esco.
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